Getting a list of proposed wedding guests will be the first thing you need to do. This can be the hardest part of all. You may say invite Aunt Charlotte, your mother says no point she will not travel that far. Then close to the wedding Day or after, you hear that Aunt Charlotte was so upset about not being invited that a family rift is eminent!

If they are close relatives but distant in miles invite them and let them decide if they want to travel.

You need a fairly accurate list before you can start working on a budget or even deciding on venues.

Make a list of family members, as wide as you need to go but usually no further than, grandparents and great grandparents, uncles and aunts and first cousins unless you have great aunts and uncles who are close to you. Do not forget their spouses and children as well as when he comes to capacity then children count as one person.

List all your friends, their partners and their children, well maybe only those you see and talk to regularly.

Now as an addition write down all the people in your past that played an important part in your growing years.

Then do the same list for your intended spouse.

It will be great if you have mutual friends so that one side of the church or venue is not packed whilst the other side is sparcely populated!

Go to the people who are paying for a good part of the wedding, usually the brides parents and ask who they would like to attend.

Ask the grooms parents who they would like to invite.

Do not forget that all the people involved in your ceremony, best man, bridesmaids and pages will need invites as will the church minister. These will all need to be counted in the head count for the venue you finally choose.

The hardest part will come if you select your most favourite venue and then have to cut the numbers to fit everyone in. That is when things get really difficult.

If you do have guests who live very far away or find travelling difficult then it will be a really thoughtful gesture to send them an invite rather than assume they cannot attend. You will probably receive a nice reply turning down the invite and maybe offering you a wedding gift. And you will not have upset another distant member of the family.

If you have friends or relatives for that matter who are unmarried but in relationships then you need to decide who to invite. Long term relationships should be treated as married couples but those that are fairly new are best treated as single and only invite the one person.

If you have children invited then consider employing a creche supervisor. Children are an essential ingredient of any wedding but sometime the boring adult things are best avoided with professional supervision.

Very young children under 5 should be seated with parents at back of church or venue so that they can be removed if they become too boisterous.

If there is likely to be many children at the reception then hire a children’s entertainer.

If you really do not want children present at the reception you can omit their names from the invites.

If parents query this then you can send a polite message saying that due to restriction on numbers at venue or to budget then you regret this but that you have too many close friends and family to invite and the only children invited are those of brother or sisters.

If you make this rule you should keep it for all, other than the children of your own siblings, otherwise this can cause bad feeling if a friend brings three kids when your cousin has not been able to bring hers.

Mainly as a general rule you should consider that one third of those invited are from the brides side, one third from the grooms side and one third for the friends of either the bride and groom.

But it still should be balanced as it will be unfair to invite distant relatives to make up the numbers when the other has had to restrict theirs to close relatives. Although both sides will have a lot to say in making this list remember that the person paying the bill will most probably want to make the final decision.

It is possible that some people you want to invite may not be able to make the ceremony but can get to the reception. You may have to have two invite lists.

If you are having a mid week wedding then you will need a back up list as many from your first choice will not be able to attend.

It is tradition that the bride’s parents send out the invitation. This is so whether or not the bride’s parents are separated or even if the groom’s family is footing the final bill. If the bride and groom are footing the bill themselves it is in order for them to be responsible for the invitations.

If you are allowing children then it is courtesy to send a separate invite to each child over the age of 16 years.

You can receive samples of invitations from businesses listed in this guide so we will not go into detail here of styles and types.

It is recommended that you send out your invitations about 12 weeks before the wedding. This will give everyone time to make arrangements for the wedding. If you are planning a wedding for a busy holiday period then you should consider sending out the invites sooner than 12 weeks.

If any of your guests need accommodation then you can supply them with details of hotels or gust houses in the locality. You may find suitable accommodation listed in this guide.

If any that you invite do not reply within three weeks then telephone them to see it they are coming or not. If they are not going to attend then you can give their allocated places to those on your reserve list.